Guys I feel your pain everyday! I lost by best friend when I was 13, he was like my brother to me, died

of cancer and teachers parents etc dint let me say my goodbyes because all the machinery keeping him alive and his general well bieng would have distressed me too much an same with his funeral (no matter how hard I tried to explain no one seemed to care that it would distress me more not saying goodbye) then after his death I dealt with it really badly and it had a massively negative impact on most of my teens, I hated adults and people in authority, I basically turned into a little shit! Then one day I just broke down and was in a mess and realised

I was never actually alowed to greive properly and that's my advice!

just make sure u say goodbye properly! And never forget the happiness they brought you, and think about them every day, don't dwell on the fact there gone but celebrate the fact you were lucky enough to be apart of thier life!

Edited 30 April, 201016 yr by Pepe

and stay strong for the rest of your familly!

mate fuck that i tried that and it fucked me up, i didn't even cry at the funeral trying to be strong for every one else when all i wanted to do was let go. best advice i could give is to let it flow, any feelings your having let them out. trying to hold shit in for other people's benefit will do you no good what so ever, and try and find some one that you feel comfortable talking about any shit that's on your mind as well mate

/\ yep pretty much - Its a odd thing grieving, Theres no time on it or way to cope. You just have to deal with it.

i was in bristol that night. I wanted to get in my car and drive you believe me, But what use would i be wrapped around a motorway bridge as i was ready to do anything to cover the 190 miles home. I've thought - whys it worth carrying on if i can end it by spanking my car into a wall.

But at the end of it, its not what my girlfriend would have wanted. I'll never forget her, the past 3 weeks it is now I've done nothing but think about her. I've written text messages to her then only realising she wont reply. I've felt guilty just having a shower, eating e.t.c

I'm back at work now as i love my job and i work with my mates. Which is who i need to be with. I'm over the worst. I'll never forget carrying her into the funeral service, i was so proud of her for what she had achieved in her life.

I've kept busy, thats my way of dealing with it. I come on here to laff at some posts, talk to friends, i almost jacked it all in believe me. So guys, thanks for the comments see you at the shows for a beer :)

Not much I can say really, except condolences to all :(

thank you for you're repleys mum amd myself are just numb and in shock i' know if i go for a drive i probably would not come back tanks again

tom

Neil mate it must of been so hard for you coming to come to terms will all that so suddenly. i couldn't even conceive going through all those feelings and pain in just a few days, when it happened to me it was a long drawn out process and that was still hard to take in. i don't even know what to say to you, i can't imagine going through it in the way you have. hopefully i see you at a show this year, beers are on me mate

trust me, I've had all the ifs and buts, Why did a fit young healthy girl go into hospital and 4 hours later not come out. I'll never understand it.

But yes mate, might see you at edition :)

But yes mate, might see you at edition :)

i've got a couple of stella's with your name on mate, can't be hard to spot your gay mk5 in the crowd

Reading these posts almost brought a tear to my eye!

Stay strong!

R . I . P

I dont/cant feel bad or sad etc when someone dies, to me its just - 'cest la vie'

I know what its like to feel sad about stuff though and hope you guys dont have that dreaded emotion with you for long

all i will say is i understand your pain bud things will get better over time and think of it in a positive manner at least your dad and neil your misses are both in a better place all you can do is try your level best to get through this very trying time regards matt

thank you for you're repleys mum amd myself are just numb and in shock i' know if i go for a drive i probably would not come back tanks again

tom

You'll be ok bus. Trust me Gimme a ring if you wanna get some air. Phones always on.

Neil - HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT man no. Tbh, i dont know how i'd feel hearing that so cant imagine the pain my friend. Be strong, keep smiling, take it one step at a time.

Peace out.

just wrote my thread about failing my test then read this, puts things into perspective.

my best mates brother crashed his car the other month, escaped unhurt then got run over by a truck trying to get his phone from the road.

two acquantances have passed away this year, one from falling down the stairs and bleeding to death and the other one was 2 days ago and nobody is strong enough to talk about what happened yet.

i feel for anyone who has lost somebody in such terrible circumstances and know that while there is nothing anyone can say to make it better, you can be happy in what a great person they were and how they affected those around them.

My brother's had it hard,lost seven of his mates in just two seperate car accidents. He's 22. No tantrums yet but he releases his frustrations out in ice hockey.

One of my best mates died when we were 20. He went homeless and wouldn't listen to my appeals to go clean and get settled. Then one day he came round,scagged up and with a stray dog,asking for help. I said to come back the very next day without the dog or brown and we'd get on it. He never came back,because he died of a heroin overdose.

Guilt plays a big part. For me i should've let him stay,i effectively sent him to his death. For others its always something they could or should've done too,or even said - but its bollocks. There's no use thinking like that,its just a natural reaction. It is what it is.

I didn't have a problem getting over it,or my nan,or my other nan,or my great gran,or another mate at school,i was quick to divert my time to the people still here. And i feel that's the right way for me.

Because everyone dies,more and more will die around you as you get older and for me i feel its those still here who need my time.

But i'll never forget. I could never move on without taking a little part of those i loved with me.