bakes dueys cakes.

is a fruit cake

likes warm apple pie

likes a wooly cream pie.

likes a nasty pasty

likes old pasty.

eats raw pastry.

eats bukkake scrapings.

is gaping.

Prefers anal seepage

is the guy from one guy, one jar.

pioneered the reaction video craze.

went to shitfest 08 with the cup birds.

ran out on stage when jedward were on x factor with a pineapple on his head, but calvin harris took the wrap because he is a good mate

always gives his girlfriend a tissue to wipe the cum off her face because he's a top lad.

wipes it on the curtains.

couldnt make beans on toast if his life depended on it

... Is still making beans on toast coz he cant make nuffin else

left school at an early age.

is still at school

waits outside school, whilst stroking his chode.

is a predatory catholic vicar

wants to be a choirboy kneeling at the alter waiting for the holy spirit to enter him. (from behind)

Is said holy spirit

is the seepage afterwards.