Rocker cover from the old engine should bring the effective price of the van down a bit after a polish

Please tell me your just gonna stick the engine in and roll it like that? Proper sleeper

Man it smells inside though might need to pump the tyres up a bit 145 ftw

I will be there mark in the blue mk1, I have to agree with guy too, that would be awsome!

Nice , will be good to catch up.

Rocker cover from the old engine should bring the effective price of the van down a bit after a polish

oh have a few of these , its me pension fund

I wanted to ask if you had a pinout diagram for the 2 plugs near the fusebox, I'm toying with the idea of wiring in the aee ecu which i believe is map based ? Interestingly it is the same ecu used on the AFH the only differences i can see are the injectors and throttle body.

Regarding the afm , i think in the last 2 weeks I've been on every forum around the world for cars that use the vane meter! Short of spending 3 to 400 quid on a signal convertor i dont think it can be done ? The vane air meter doesnt output a linear scale i think, whereas maf does, any thoughts on the burn off feature ? or just keep it clean! An early lucas 5am maf sensor was the closest thing i could find output wise from a rover v8 .

I must do some multi metering on the vafm to confirm , did you change the spring getting on the golf vafm ? Any thoughts on a larger vafm from a porsche , bmw etc ?

*edit* I'm pretty sure the golf throttle pot works backwards i.e. 5v - 0v the gt is 0v- 5v .

Vane AFM is a pain in the arse if you're going for ITBs, but on a standard throttle it isn't really an issue. The main reason they were ditched by the OEMs is not because they were massively restrictive, but mainly because MAFs had been developed to a point where they were more reliable and more accurate than an AFM. This then paved the way to using a MAF and a MAP so you can use flow and pressure to establish the mass of air entering the engine, and thus get the fuelling utterly cock-on.

Golf GTI AFM setup by Uncle Steve's methods is a good way forward. Lots of people just throw the Golf AFM on, but then don't bother setting it up - so you cock up the fuelling. A half-open Golf AFM will flow more air than a half-open GT one - but the ECU will set the fuelling and ignition the same for both situations. So you have to alter the Golf AFM spring tension to ensure the ECU sees the same input voltage for the same airflow as the GT one.

BTW, the airflow/mass vs voltage curves of a MAF and AFM being different is why you'd need to remap the GT ECU to cope - or use an external signal converter to map the MAF curve onto that of the AFM.

I wanted to ask if you had a pinout diagram for the 2 plugs near the fusebox, I'm toying with the idea of wiring in the aee ecu which i believe is map based ? Interestingly it is the same ecu used on the AFH the only differences i can see are the injectors and throttle body.

Regarding the afm , i think in the last 2 weeks I've been on every forum around the world for cars that use the vane meter! Short of spending 3 to 400 quid on a signal convertor i dont think it can be done ? The vane air meter doesnt output a linear scale i think, whereas maf does, any thoughts on the burn off feature ? or just keep it clean! An early lucas 5am maf sensor was the closest thing i could find output wise from a rover v8 .

I must do some multi metering on the vafm to confirm , did you change the spring getting on the golf vafm ? Any thoughts on a larger vafm from a porsche , bmw etc ?

*edit* I'm pretty sure the golf throttle pot works backwards i.e. 5v - 0v the gt is 0v- 5v .

Vane AFM is a pain in the arse if you're going for ITBs, but on a standard throttle it isn't really an issue. The main reason they were ditched by the OEMs is not because they were massively restrictive, but mainly because MAFs had been developed to a point where they were more reliable and more accurate than an AFM. This then paved the way to using a MAF and a MAP so you can use flow and pressure to establish the mass of air entering the engine, and thus get the fuelling utterly cock-on.

Golf GTI AFM setup by Uncle Steve's methods is a good way forward. Lots of people just throw the Golf AFM on, but then don't bother setting it up - so you cock up the fuelling. A half-open Golf AFM will flow more air than a half-open GT one - but the ECU will set the fuelling and ignition the same for both situations. So you have to alter the Golf AFM spring tension to ensure the ECU sees the same input voltage for the same airflow as the GT one.

BTW, the airflow/mass vs voltage curves of a MAF and AFM being different is why you'd need to remap the GT ECU to cope - or use an external signal converter to map the MAF curve onto that of the AFM.

Thanks Andy , very informative as always :-D looks like aftermarket is the way forward.

Rocker cover from the old engine should bring the effective price of the van down a bit after a polish

oh have a few of these , its me pension fund

They expensive are they? i put one on mine i got off Rich (we need him back) sure it was £20.....quick media blast and a untrasonic clean and its good as new!

Cya at RR day Bert (i'll be with the dirty midlander holding throttle bodies with the HUGE smile :p )

Not as expensive as the vw motorsport one on ebay . Ill hopefully meet up with you lot on the way unless you bummers want some time alone?

What on gods earth happened to that engine?

What on gods earth happened to that engine?

I pulled the van out of a very damp garage in Essex , it had been in there for approx 10 years and it smells like it too! It even came with an old DVLC logbook , i am the 3rd owner :-D .

Remarkably the shell has survived very well , Mark

Instead of fixing this i have bought another car :-D

My new favorite website N.S.F.W

http://www.youparklikeacunt.com/

Instead of fixing this i have bought another car :-D

My new favorite website N.S.F.W

http://www.youparklikeacunt.com/

Haha what have you bought? I take it the same? lol

And that website is amazing

Edited 15 January, 201214 yr by daveb142

I know what he's got :-D

Nice link too mark old lad

oh yes MK2 Golf GTI , needs abit of tlc but i quite like it :-D

Poor parking is my pet hate , as my double parking pikey fuck wit neighbour found out at 5.30 am last sunday morning along with every other poor sod that lives near me , merc vito horns ftw

£200 fully comp on the Golf I love being old

£200 fully comp on the Golf I love being old

So whats happening with the polo then mark?

You coming to the RR?

£200 fully comp on the Golf I love being old

I pay that a month for 12 months!

Whaaa? Why?

Sheffield is bad for that.

What do you do in the day man?

so quick at replying lol, you must refresh every 5 seconds!

To be fair the Golf is on a Classic policy plus ill be 40 this year and live in a reasonably nice area, i only really need a car at the weekends and the Polo is getting a little impractical for family use .

This will give me a chance to get the Gt sorted out without the need to have it on the road. I'm hoping the Gt will be ready for the Rolling Road day but ill be there in something :-D .

To be fair the Golf is on a Classic policy plus ill be 40 this year and live in a reasonably nice area, i only really need a car at the weekends and the Polo is getting a little impractical for family use .

This will give me a chance to get the Gt sorted out without the need to have it on the road. I'm hoping the Gt will be ready for the Rolling Road day but ill be there in something :-D .

I like the sound of all that!

Ben, that sucks lol

HAYNES MANUAL - THE REAL MEANINGS

For those of us that have ever used a Haynes Manual (or Clymer or Chilton equivalents) in attempting home maintenance of a car or motorbike. For those who havn't used a Haynes Manual, these are the books aimed at those who want to fix their own vehicles and which keep qualified mechanics in paid employment putting things right afterwards. They are chock full of photos, diagrams and step-by-step instructions which are obvious if you are a fully qualified motor mechanic, but which are frighteningly sparse on detail for the average Joe in the street who wants to change a set of spark plugs on a 1981 VW Polo ....

Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise.

Translation: Clamp with molegrips (adjustable wrench) then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise. You do know which way is anticlockwise, don't you?

Haynes: Should remove easily.

Translation: Will be corroded into place ... clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with a hammer.

Haynes: Remove small retaining clip.

Translation: Take off 15 years of stubborn crud, it's there somewhere.

Haynes: This is a snug fit.

Translation: You will skin your knuckles! ... Clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: This is a tight fit.

Translation: Not a hope in hell matey! ... Clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...

Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start, now you are looking at scarey photos of the inside of a gearbox.

Haynes: Locate ...

Translation: This photo of a hex nut is the only clue we're giving you.

Haynes: Pry...

Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...

Haynes: Undo...

Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (catering size).

Haynes: Ease ...

Translation: Apply superhuman strength to ...

Haynes: Retain tiny spring...

Translation: "Jeez what was that, it nearly had my eye out"!

Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb...

Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part and remaining glass shards.

Haynes: Lightly...

Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then re-check the manual because what you are doing now cannot be considered "lightly".

Haynes: Weekly checks...

Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it!

Haynes: Routine maintenance...

Translation: If it isn't broken... it's about to be!

Haynes: One spanner rating (simple).

Translation: Your Mum could do this... so how did you manage to botch it up?

Haynes: Two spanner rating.

Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, tiny, ikkle number... but you also thought that the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you).

Haynes: Three spanner rating (intermediate).

Translation: Make sure you won't need your car for a couple of days and that your AA cover includes Home Start.

Translation: But Novas are easy to maintain right... right? So you think three Nova spanners has got to be like a 'regular car' two spanner job.

Haynes: Four spanner rating.

Translation: You are seriously considering this aren't you, you pleb!

Haynes: Five spanner rating (expert).

Translation: OK - but don't expect us to ride it afterwards!!!

Translation #2: Don't ever carry your loved ones in it again and don't mention it to your insurance company.

Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this...

Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Haynes: Compress...

Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on, swear at, throw at the garage wall, then search for it in the dark corner of the garage whilst muttering "bugger" repeatedly under your breath.

Haynes: Inspect...

Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife "Yep, as I thought, it's going to need a new one"!

Haynes: Carefully...

Translation: You are about to cut yourself!

Haynes: Retaining nut...

Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust.

Haynes: Get an assistant...

Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know.

Haynes: Turning the engine will be easier with the spark plugs removed.

Translation: However, starting the engine afterwards will be much harder. Once that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach has subsided, you can start to feel deeply ashamed as you gingerly refit the spark plugs.

Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal.

Translation: But you swear in different places.

Haynes: Locate securing bolt.

Translation: Remember that worrying noise when you drove along the A38 last summer? That's where you'll find the securing bolt.

Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs...

Translation: Snap off...

Haynes: Remove drum retaining pin.

Translation: Break every screwdriver in your box.

Haynes: Using a suitable drift or pin-punch...

Translation: The biggest nail in your tool box isn't a suitable drift!

Haynes: Everyday toolkit

Translation: Ensure you have an RAC Card & Mobile Phone

Haynes: Apply moderate heat...

Translation: Placing your mouth near it and huffing isn't moderate heat.

Translation #2: Heat up until glowing red, if it still doesn't come undone use a hacksaw.

Translation #3: Unless you have a blast furnace, don't bother. Clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: Index

Translation: List of all the things in the book bar the thing you want to do!

Haynes: Remove oil filter using an oil filter chain wrench or length of bicycle chain.

Translation: Stick a screwdriver through it and beat handle repeatedly with a hammer.

Haynes: Replace old gasket with a new one.

Translation: I know I've got a tube of Krazy Glue around here somewhere.

Haynes: Grease well before refitting.

Translation: Spend an hour searching for your tub of grease before chancing upon a bottle of washing-up liquid (dish soap). Wipe some congealed washing up liquid from the dispenser nozzle and use that since it's got a similar texture and will probably get you to Halfords to buy some Castrol grease.

Haynes: See illustration for details

Translation: None of the illustrations notes will match the pictured exploded, numbered parts. The unit illustrated is from a previous or variant model. The actual location of the unit is never given.

Haynes: Drain off all fluids before removing cap.

Translation: Visit bathroom, spit on ground, remove baseball cap in order to scratch head in perplexity.

Haynes: Top up fluids.

Translation: Drink 2 cans of beer and call out a mobile mechanic to undo the damage.

For Added Haynes Fun, go to the first section "Safety First" and read the bit about Hydrofluoric Acid. Would you really trust the advice of a book that uses this form of understatement?

THE CONDENSED HAYNES MANUAL

All makes and models post-2000

For a modern car chock full of electronics, all that's in the Haynes Manual (aka "The Haynes Bumper Book of Jokes") is:

Routine Service: Take it to a main dealer and hand over a large amount of cash.

Advanced Service: Open the bonnet. Decide all that stuff is far too scary. Proceed with routine service (see above).

hahahaha thats a pisser, it was quite a read but worth it :)

Winning

Bet you're glad it's snowing now mate! You'd have been pretty pissed if you went a whole winter without the chance to use them!

Bet you're glad it's snowing now mate! You'd have been pretty pissed if you went a whole winter without the chance to use them!

:-D , I'm sat at home , Mrs Burt is out in the snow , to be honest they are recommended to be used in anything under 6 degrees not just snow , and i have to admit i am astounded at what a difference they make in low temperatures .

Awesome stuff, definitely interested in that! You going to the clubpolo trackday?

How did that race end lol? I can't remember...

Howdy fudgenudgers , welcome to todays thrilling episode :-D

So as previously mentioned i bought a Golf for daily duties , some say thrifty, some say tight c**t , but what does 200 of your finest english pounds get you these days , well ill tell you this lovely 1990 1.8 8v Golf Gti.....

Aaaah look there we are on our first day out getting recovered from the M6 on route to the rolling road day , lost all power ground to a halt, flat battery . Could this be a sign of joy to come?

So back to the barn ,figure alternator is goosed , picked up a secondhand alternator locally and refitted recharged battery , starts first time , sweet easy fix . Now to investigate the slightly bent front end , quite what happened i am still not sure but i had a slight mishap with the towing A frame on the way back from picking it up , all i know is i came round a sharpish bend and the Golf carried on round resulting in a lovely and graceful 180 degree spin , quite how i missed kerbs , parked cars etc I'm not sure , anyho this resulted in a slightly squished bumper and iron..

So strip down of the front end reveals a slightly squashed bumper iron which will be replaced , a very crusty subframe and rad support which may as well be replaced while I'm there , might need a new grille surround as well if anyone has the part numbers for these fixings let us know ... :-D

So in the meantime car has been ticking over nicely for an hour or so , turn car off go to restart and nothing , battery flat again , bummer so out with the multi meter , 13.5 volts from the alternator , 12.2 at the battery , mmm whats happening there then ? So check all earths from battery , clean up all earthing points recheck and no change , over to the positive feed , connection at alternator good as I've just changed it , follow down to starter motor , ha ha looking very corroded , remove connections and lo and behold ring terminal is barely connected to ring terminal...

So adapt a polo loom i have , which was a surprisingly near fit and joy of joys ............

So just need to find a good bumper iron and bumper and should be back on the road :-D , cheers Mark

All that over a crusty connection! Glad its sorted now tho mate :-D

Awesome stuff, definitely interested in that! You going to the clubpolo trackday?

How did that race end lol? I can't remember...

I let him win :-D , might do track day , see how the fundage is .

All that over a crusty connection! Glad its sorted now tho mate :-D

Always the simple things , to be honest it had sat on the previous owners drive for a couple of months and looking at the front end was MOT,d by Stevie wonder Motors last time :-D