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Chat up lines and one liners..


EnthusiastOwned™

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EnthusiastOwned™

I love girls. I also love being a dickhead which means I don't really get girls.. but I get loads of laughs out of it!

Chat up lines hardly EVER work.. But they make me laugh seeing girls reactions.. So lets share. Through ClubPolo we can give each other tips and secrets.. it'll be like 'The Game', only with idiots and dickheads giving the advice. :lol:

I'll start!

Walk up to a girl and in a pirates voice and a squint eye say:

"Arggghhhh! I'm a love pirate and I'm 'ere for your booty.. Arghhhh!"

Then you grab her booty and shake it.

This is guaranteed to either get you slapped, punched by her boyfriend or laughed at. I've had all three outcomes! Yay!

Edited by EnthusiastOwned™
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we need a like button!

EnthusiastOwned™
"are you wearing space pants cos your arse is out of this world" :unibrow:

Love it! I'm using that one!

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Not a chat up line but will get you slapped.... start dirty dancing with a fat lass then when she's getting into it lean over and whisper 'your fat as f***' in her ear... then run...

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EnthusiastOwned™
Not a chat up line but will get you slapped.... start dirty dancing with a fat lass then when she's getting into it lean over and whisper 'your fat as f***' in her ear... then run...

hahaha.. You evil bastard!

It's like the old classic. Go up to a really rough bird with a hot friend

"fancy a dance"...

Usually she'll say "yes"..

"f**k off then so I can talk to you mate"

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MartinB
It's like the old classic. Go up to a really rough bird with a hot friend

"fancy a dance"...

Usually she'll say "yes"..

"f**k off then so I can talk to you mate"

:lol:

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smithy_6n

"Fancy a game of 'rape'?"

"No..."

"That's the spirit!"

But seriously, they don't work.. well they do, but in the way that they're so cheesy they just make good ice breakers..

If you do it right she'll know you're taking the piss and crack a smile.. if not, and she thinks you're serious.. well you've failed brah.

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VDubber23

Pahahaa ^

Like the polar bear one - Go up to a girl and say "fat penguins." She'll probably give you a weird look and say "errr what...?" then you say "I just wanted to break the ice"

Another harsh one to say to a fugly bird - "Did if hurt when you fell from heaven? Cos it looks like you fell on your face"

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Simple_Jim
Not a chat up line but will get you slapped.... start dirty dancing with a fat lass then when she's getting into it lean over and whisper 'your fat as f***' in her ear... then run...

:lol: That is brilliant! pissed myself at this, will defo have to do it for a laugh!

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maherjack

Go up to a porky lass and say

''do you have a pen''

She will hopefully say''Yes''

''Well get back in it you fat pig''

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Go up to a porky lass and say

''do you have a pen''

She will hopefully say''Yes''

''Well get back in it you fat pig''

:lol::lol::lol:

this threads made me laugh soo much

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I've seen this done but never tried it

"Hello, by name's Bond... admittedly, not James Bond, Uni Bond"

"eh"

"Yeah, Unibond - I'm here to fill your crack"

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bunnyfeet

boy : can i see you halo

girl : i dont have one

boy : bend over and il show you youve got one

I've not used this but it sounds good

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•Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

•get your coat iv got a knife...

•Do you mind if I hang out here until its safe back where I farted.

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•Do you mind if I hang out here until its safe back where I farted.

OMFG that made me spit monter all over the pc lol

mines just "SUPRISE" coz i here its not rape if you shout suprise first :ninja:

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maherjack
•Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

The end to that line is when they wake up, just say ''it gives you a sore bum doesn't it'' :-D

I have heard so many of these, Another one is go up too a bird and say

''Hi I'm batman and this is my little side kick throbbing''

Edited by maherjack
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one that alway works garanteed, go up to a girl u like the look of and whilst pushing it towards her face say, "excuse me does this rag smell like chloroform to you??" get em every time!

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willson1992

- Walk up to a girl and say "have you ever been wheyyed?", as she says know, Grab her boobs, shake them around and scream "WHEYYYY!!!"

Wouldnt surprise me if you got a kick in the baby makers though.

Or my personal fave... "Are you a parking ticket? because you've got fine written all over you"

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EnthusiastOwned™

Walk up the her and say:

"fancy a fuck"

She'll reply: "fuck off/no/idiot"

"come on love. don't be picky, I'm not"

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-fancy a shag

no

oh well dyou mind bending over while i have one

:ninja:

-can i smell your pussy

no

oh must be your feet then

:ninja:

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