When i had the Punto i was parked up on a high street when returning i noticed the coolant had leaked out because of a hose coming away from the expansion tank so after filling it up i forgot about the rag i used to wipe up the mess and when starting up the car it somehow got caught up around the timing belt and jammed so taking me over an hour of messing around trying to cut it away without damaging the belt much to the annoyance of my GF who needed to get to an appointment

My car was not starting so i was doing some troubleshooting got to the point where i was testing the spark plugs for sparks, had removed them and my mate was holding them against the block while i whent to turn the ignition ,, forgot that i had removed the carb and the fuel line was just sitting there .. so when i turned the engine over i did not understant why my mates had a look of dispair like a deer in head lights .. the fuel was spraying all over his hands that where holding the spark plugs ,,, and luckly the fuel did not ignite

i raise you

Remove a passat front spring with no compressors on Thursday night.

Me standing on the strut knowing how badly it could go waiting to get injured, mate undoing the nut, BANG!!!, the 2piece top mount flies off, bounces off the fence and gets my mate square on the right arse cheek.

Much merriment followed with him lying on the floor clutching his arse for about 10 mins. hahahaha

Remember kids spring compressors could save your dignity. I'm just annoyed that I'm £250 down because no one was filming it.

Holding the bonnet of my old mk3 up with a broom against the arb when dom604 gave me a dodgy ratchet to undo the gearbox bolts - handle flies off ratchet, broom flies out and bonnet cracks me on the back of the head

couple of stitches later and i was sound again

was at college last week in the workshop... got paired up with the classroom badman who doesnt pay attention or use his blooody brain! we had to take the springs and dampers off this fiat sciento or whatever it is... so i was like, "you get the jacking point and start jacking it up, il go get the axle stands"... not hard you may think? i get the axle stands and as i get back to the car... the jack goes right through the radiator and its just pisssed everywhere! the donut decided to jack it up on the radiator support bar! RESULT!

lol @ the classroom badman! haha the most retarded thing i have done was probably today at uni, after i striped my gt head and cleaned it in the parts washer to mock up my new inlet up on, i was re asembling the head and for some reason 2 bolts wouldnt clear the cam pully perculiar i thought but carried on regardles, then it dawned on me that i had put the cam in back to front! what a tool!

I was just laying the headgasket on the block, which was now fully fitted into the MK2, when i noticed a difference in the valve cut-outs of the 1.6 16v Golf BCB pistons in the 6n2 1.4 cylinder block - cylinder three's piston was back to front

these are too funny!

One day left of my holiday at my mums, 150 miles from home, pissing down with rain I decide my wiper blades need changing..........yep you guessed it blade arm starts to fall, I try to grab it amd it slips out of my hand, smacking it down even harder, it went straight THROUGH the windscreen. Luckily enough Autoglass could come out that afternoon to replace it. I still feel like such a plank.

I also managed to get the sheet stuck to my wing mirror when I was spraying it cos I hadn't taped it down properly. Oh yeah and drove 10 miles, including straight past a confused looking copper with my front numberplate masked up when I was spraying the bumper.

countless locking wheel nuts lost down the drain outside my house

Car collapsed on the jack while I was working on it (Stupid me I know), got so pissed off with the damn coilovers left the car like that for the night until I had the patients to work on it again.

I can't think of anything other than buying a 6n hahaha

Some of these are hilarious. I properly LOL'd at them

I think one thing i did does count as pretty retarded. Just after i got my white coupe, took out the tailights to spray tint red. All went fine. Re fitted the lights shut the boot went inside. Got up 5.00 next morning for work. Got most of the way, and noticed the boot was lighting up. Thought WTF! Got out to look and my entire tailights were lighting up dim, and bright when i braked and flashing when i indicated. The bulb holders were just hanging in the boot, as i'd forgotten to put them back in

I've also done the thing where you remove stuff to get to something else. Then refit it, and realise youve missed a step, and have to take everything back out again. I think i've already posted about locking my keys and all my stuff in the boot at work.

Have you wrote that somewhere else?! Or am I psychic

Have you wrote that somewhere else?! Or am I psychic

no mattloaf dfid the very same IIRC

was gonna say, I'm sure id read that virtually word for word recently haha

Your not psycic. You had. LOL.

I also put it in the 'unbelievable, dangerous cars' thread, when i was posting about how many cars with dodgy lights i see, and realised i had some seriously dodgy lighting once I remembered i put it in there after i posted this.

then I appear to be retarded, I thought Mr Loaf had said it :/

Nope, I wrote about doing something similar and then said it was insult to injury as I had just ran over a brick.

Yeah I found other thread, it's alright kids hang the straight jackets up

did my water pump last night and was loosing water. Pecked . got really anoyyed and realised i forgot to the bleed nipple up properly haha ..

bulk head was abit wet :p ......

was a long day . ;( lol

Tried to fill the oil through the dipstick tube (a long time ago mind) LMAO

Oh and fitted a set of alloys to my Ford Sierra with standard nuts, car drove about 6 feet then i realised this cant be right!!

Proper nuts cost me 3 times more than the wheels and they were buckled in the end!!

not so long ago i was washing my car so lifted the front wipers up and thought, "while I'm at it i will top the water up for the washers". lifted the bonet up while the wipers were still up and took a decent amount of paint from the lip of the bonet and snapped a wiper