'we once were so poor that if you didnt wake up with a hardon at christmas you had nothing to play with'

'Christmas is so shit that whoever invented it should be nailed to a cross'

'I stayed up all night waiting for santa to come, but then he put his clothes back on and left in an awkward silence'

Keep em coming and spread the christmas cheer

Why is Santa not on the sex offenders register? I mean watching children all year round then emptying his sack in their front room at Christmas!

is it snowing?

no... it's reindeer.

i got the mrs some new shoes and a dildo for xmas...

if she doesnt like the shoes she can go fuck herself.